Motorway Singalong

(To the tune of ‘Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner’. And a bit of Tom Robinson)

Maybe it’s because it’s a motorway

that makes you drive so bad.

You think you own the road 

and you’re on the fuckin’ phone,

you’re the reason why the jam

reaches back to Birmingham…

Ohhh!    2 – 4 – 6 – 8

IT’S FORTY MILES AN HOUR, MATE!

Maybe it’s because it’s a motorway

that makes me hate you so.

Your indicator’s broke

and your attitude’s a joke

and we can’t predict the way

that your Beamer’s gonna go…

Ohhh!    2 – 4 – 6 – 8

WAIT YER FUCKIN’ RUSH, MATE!

Maybe it’s because it’s a motorway,

makes you think it’s all yours.

You’re a white van man,

the equivalent of spam,

unwanted and unsafe

you’re in everybody’s face

(and up their arse, too)

Ohhh!    2 – 4 – 6 – 8

WANKERRR!

Maybe it’s because it’s a motorway

that turns your brain to shit.

With your pinstripe suit

and your laptop in the boot,

you can never just be late,

causing multi RTAyy-AYYS…

Ohhh!    2 – 4 – 6 – 8

GERROUT ME FUCKIN’ WAY, MATE!

Jesus really wants you for a sunbeam

to shine for him each day.

We’ll enjoy the extra space

when you finally win the race

so long farewell auf weidersen good night, gobshi-iiTE

Ohhh!    2 – 4 – 6 – 8

SEE YOU AT THE PEARLY GATE!

3 – 5 – 7 - 9

YOU JUST PASSED THE FINISH LINE!

HURRAY!  

Here’s your halo - now fuck off